Something sort of funny happened today. They say it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature, well, it definitely not nice to try to fool God. During Mass today I felt so moved by the homily, and in such a good mood that I told our Lord I was not going to holler and cuss other drivers on the road, that I was going to be a good, good person on my way back home.
I wasn’t bothered by the usual drivers who drive fast and get right on your rear, and then have to jam on the brakes. I was not going to lose my temper. I stopped at a store to pick up a few items and then I was homeward bound.
My next stop was at the post office. I had some envelopes to mail and I was going to drop them into the drive-up mail box. There was a car ahead of me and I saw a little old, old woman standing outside her car putting mail in the mailbox. She then got back in her car and sat there. She had to know that a car was behind her, besides my headlights were on. I sat and she sat. I suddenly noticed that she was looking in a mirror and fixing her hair! Whoa! Without a second thought I hit my horn!! There went my good intention and it was all her fault! She sat for another few seconds and before my inner woman came completely out of me, she drove off. I was furious! I drove up to the mailbox, reached out to put my mail in, and a gust of wind took one envelope out of my hand and into the air it went! Meanwhile, a car pulled up behind me. Without a thought to that waiting car, I had to get out of my car, find the damned envelope, catch it between wind gusts, and place it in the mailbox. I stomped back to my car, crawled in and moved a few feet so that I could attach my seat belt. And then I guffawed! I suddenly remembered my promise to God! He had thumped my forehead! He was teaching me a lesson! Well done, Lord, well done.
In my own defense, I must admit my feelings that old, old people should not be allowed to drive, especially if they can barely see over the steering wheel, want to creep along at 30 mph, and can barely see in general! They should not be on the roads! Nothing gets my ire up more than some old person in some huge car, just meandering down the road as if they have no place to go and no time to be there. I am 73, but far from old, and besides, I definitely am not one of those slow old drivers!
Awhile back, I was at a stop light. My light turned green. Meanwhile, 3 old coots were driving trucks, and one turned left in front of me when his light was yellow. The second old coot turned on his red light, and the third one was coming out into the street when I laid on my horn, and began moving. What the hell was going on? Didn’t they see the stop lights? What did they think the lights were there for? Old drivers are positively scary! They oughta be kept off the streets!
When I moved into my new neighborhood a few years ago, I was driving slowly down a street and looking around. An old man driving behind me was furious. In the rear view mirror I could see him gesturing wildly and his mouth was moving and I knew he didn't learn those words in Sunday School. I ignored him. Finally, he pulled out from behind me and into the left lane.
He yelled, “You’re supposed to be doing 45 miles an hour!”
I yelled back, “No, 45 is the limit. I can drive 10 MPH if I want to! And I want to!”
He pulled ahead like he had been shot out of a cannon, jumped back into my lane, and made a right turn at the corner.
See what I mean? Old people are terrible drivers, run red lights, and holler at people. I only honk my horn. I must admit that I holler at them inside my car, but they can’t hear me. And that is indeed a good thing!
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